excited what´s ahead

During the first days I have had the opportunity to discover the city: see the old town, get the first glimpse of the diversity and awesomeness of the bohemian areas of the city. It is quite little that I have seen, but enough to be excited about the time ahead.

Although the pace of life is fast(already the trafficlight for pedestrian lasts such a short time!, you have to run to get over), has the city also calm corners and cute hidden places, where time does not matter.

*

Not even an hour went by since I had arrived and already I saw flags of Japan in front of different companies. I can´t still believe, that just while walking home or around in the city, there are people passing by, who are speaking in Japanese!:)

And of course all the japanese shops, restaurants and parks are breathtaking! And not only for the products, but also how they can proudly provide the best service and how nice the shopkeepers are! In one food store there was a shopkeeper assistant, who was constantly checking that all the products are on their right place and at the same time he sang a song- not only once, but two times I heard him singing happily:D

Herzlich Willkommen!

The piecies of puzzle

Almost every week I take one chinese cookie to look what is there inside. I like this kind of little rituals that add a little bit of spice or colour in daily life. The weekly rituals can be whatever kind of activity learning a poem a week, hearing radio in the language that you would like to master, thinking how your day could be or something more material like drinking morning coffee. With the last one there might be millions of people that do it on the other side of the world at the same time. From time to time I am amased how I have these "sticky" ideas in my thinking that when I take a piece of something sweet, it would really cheer me up. Although in chocolate and happiness-hormone have a connection, then it seems to be one of the fix ideas that smoking is for calmness, coffee must be drinken to start with the day etc. It should be rather obvious for whom that good is that almost no one gives another thought why do we have such bee in our bonnet.

Back to the cookies. The chinese fortune-teller had for my week that I will have a suprising find. Last week my founds were really different: the sun, a seeshell in the forest, spring flowers, a spoon, a song, bike keys, hope, but this week it was all a little bit different. I could say that it was as if to find two pieces of puzzles (different pictures and eah had millions of pieces) from which my attitude to life will be formed. As another allegoric example I would say that I found a doorjamb,a corner of one roofing tile, a cornise and a doorhandle that all are from different buildings.

On the day when I saw the first rabbit of this year, I spoke all night with my flatmates about the revolt in Libya. It was so different feeling to talk about this topic with somebody whose country is connected with the problem so closely. In Italy, especially in the southern parts, the migrants are such a problem, because of the big number, the unefficient intergration and cultural and religious background. She is such a world citizen from her attitude to Europe and her unpatriotic relationship with her country. As she with rather untolerant way sees the situation with Africans in southern Italy, it shows that the situation is already critical for the country. In addition to that what Berlusconi says and does, what happens with the migrants in a year or so, had Italy strong economical relations with Libya. The matter of having a continual gas supply, is a frightning question for all.

The way how the discussion ended, was beautiful. Giulia saying that actually we should be capable to live here on the earth all together. It is something that I have not thought about the last days being restrained, feeling the hogtie because of the gush of news.

We cannot explain here in Europe why we have obtained the most of the riches and as a freeloader living off. Why in Africa the common people do not have almost nothing and we here...? That is not on our decision but we still make the play along. And the dictatorship should have been then also in the interest of the europeans who have had the gas from there for a long time thanks to the collusion with the local powers easier and cheaper. Could there be another reason to the fact that the land full of richness, have 60% of people that are unemployed and 87% of the population being poor.

Happy birthday!

From enthusiasm, at 5.30 I woke up to be in my thoughts with Estonia today longer.
I won´t describe my preperation for the birthday, it would be too long. But as first of all I will make a post from a girl that works as a cook in Prag.

"Inimesed, midagi uskumatut on juhtunud.

Tegin aastapäevaks sülti. SÜLTI, saate aru. Ja tuli välja ja inimesed sõid ja kiitsid ja maitses nagu sült ja nägi välja nagu sült ja.. noh, oligi sült!

See on mingi... väga suur verstapost mu isikliku arengu päevikus praegu. Sült, see pole naljaasi. Huh.
Elagu Eesti!"

Elagu Eesti=)

I have been thinking here rather much about the habits and daily routines: how to be fit and healthy, how to plan my day, how to be successful. In the cases of successful people there has been always been a process from one extrem to another, to find in the end the middleway. When to look for an example go my thoughts somehow far in East and to the prince who become a yogi before reaching his goals. That meant to decide to take instead of endless richness he chose total emptiness around him. But only when the inner state of him could be described by these words, he became who we know as Buddha. In the process of learning one should go through a similar path. At first to get a hang of using the write words and phrases in th suitable places is difficult, but achievable. Still, the greatest masters do not use the words because they sound good and make the text more beautiful. Britta Tarvis, the most expert person that I know from literature critics in England, has told me that the finest way to write is concentrating on the thoughts and not the words.

Today started somehow so beautifully- from the moment I woke up the sun was shining for me. Walking along the streets to a friend of mine to eat together, in reality,through a bad foggy whether, I could somehow still hear the birds singing happily and could notice walking by from a window how a woman was singing inside. Having eaten and looking outside from the window, I fet as if I was in Italy- pinetree and the simple and funny Italian atmosphere. The food we together for lunch had cooked was amasing good and I loved how we were both hyperexited about the "Reißverschluss"- zipper, what was 1851 discovered in Usa. And I achieved a lot of goals what I could had never hoped. And I quess the big reason behind the happiness was that I went to bed with a good feeling, having thought about the nice day had had.

Practically speaking, I had moved from knowledge and skill to attitude that means the last step of learningprocess. I name the most important keythoughts in being healty and successful:) To leave hours between eating(time for digesting), not to eat sweets- cacaocream(cacao, honey, warm water and vanille or dried orange peels, dried cranberries) instead of all of that junk, regular meals(thanks to kindergarten), to repeat, rethink the learned material of the day through(or in-formal lessons)in the evening like blogging, The three-minute-rule(do everything that takes so much time instantly, not postphoning it), to choose the priority nr one of the week(helps easily achieve goals), to keep a little bit order,to do sports(when nothing more than a walk or 5 minutes of yoga)daily and when I have a little bit of enthusiasm after all of this take a minihobby a week.

On the Orange in my hand there is written: Saksa Laine-kirjasulg

I leave this title in Estonian as a good example of the state of confusion, as I have just arrived in Germany from Estonia and having settled again in German everydaylife. When I arrived in my blockhouse, was opening the door downstairs and having noticed that somebody at the same time the door was opening, I said to them at the time of thanking and saying hello, "Tere"- in my thoughts I was still in Estonia.

I woke up today having a feeling that this day is a good new beginning. Of course every day is a new little beginning, but this day especially good. So today was started with yoga and meditation and ended with blogging and hearing German language (more specific "Deutsche Welle" ehk "Saksa laine"). It gives me a sort of comfort feeling and knowledge of development and insurance, that I can concentrate and open my life to new daily routines.

When I would start talking about all the other new routines- minutly be-happy attitude, daily thankfullness(analysis), monthly money calculations, weekly German lessons and walks, fortnightly new habbits like jonglen. So more can I at the moment even think of. All the other acticities I do for myself, I guess would be for that to make sure I keep those mentioned. And what to think of this bunch of ideas? That to make sure the ideas that are shared, are kept and remembered. Having maken sure for myself, that having already a system, can everyone in this plan many many spontan ideas add. And if after this letter I really manage to write every day here, would be a creat achivement and a basis for all other ideas.

I love fascination, questions and paralels. It make life go in the right way. Or lets us think that lifes goes in the right way. I was sharing time with my cousin´s daughters and one dialog, what I loved:
- "Why do the little ones always cry and scream?"
- "The always have a reason, and it is a very big one, for them.And even when it is something of a reason like "the oranges are orange" they still have it."

The sequens of similar occasions in life are fascinating. The parallels, similarities that can be drawn from day to day. That is the only reason why I want to grow old. The fact how I could think out (like one of the persons I admire) why I have I had such friends like I have had and why have i had similar problems that repeat form time to time, why have I had certain illnesses.
Now about the oranges. One of my favourite books was "Organge girl" for a while only because of the first picture. Now just because I remembered how good it was, suddenly having seen it in the hands of one friend of mine. I liked the fact that somebody having a hard time would buy a basket of oranges. I love one frined of mine who on our travels would go to simple bars where they have put out oranges to show that they make fresh juice, would buy there one. Even more I love thouse baarkeepers who would give this girl the orange for free and say something nice. The theapic procedure of peeling an orange and the nice smile of my friend who has seen, that I have a given her a orange in the hand that has a smile.

The questions of the day: what makes me fascinated, would I like to grow old, what there was a one day cap- no tomorrow, but all the 364 days after it.

Plätzchen, lebekuchen, pfefferkuchen, Orangekeekse, Stollen, Zimtkuchen!

We have Gingerbread and Christmasbread, they have here in Germany for christmas and wintertime so many different types of cookies (and these are only for christmas specialties!).

A new baby was born...
for the Banana- Avocado. Who is the father?

Everybody who knows about artificial insemination principals, knows that with putting in the fertile soil a seed, there is a possibility of nascency of a new plant. The flowerpot, where was growning a lonely banana-plant,

When my life would be a couch, then in this year at them moment, sitting on this couch you could enjoy from a mountain peak a view under on the village. Looking from above under, there would be possible in the night distinguish only the bigger and smaller lights in this village. These are almost like lighthouses, but the distance from each other and the sea wont let them.

To start talking about the couch itself then the size of it is now unknown- time will give a good explanation to this matter The couch will be colourful, mostly yellow-orange-red-brown just like my new woolly socks. As one armrest you see would be a drum and as another armrest there would be a “German-Estonian understanding dictionary”. The seat itself would be a big big yellow pillow that looks like the sun.

Ginger tea with orange, japanese mint-ginger warmer with little lemon, Rooibus Chai, Banana- cherry infusion...

I looove wintertime !

At the moment I find it rather good that the previous posts were written "in white ink". Otherwise in black and white every sprcial occasion would have been too much work- every second I would have had something to write, ther is too much miracles of the winter that have revieled themselves in this snowy Jena.

Prison

I do have nothing to say, all the words are in the air. They are flying and changing. Whether to try to catch them and force them on this black and white prison or to leave them just alone? I feel at the moment like making the feelings the experience into a formed shape, is wrong. They can be in change. Making any statements is too early. And then? I will finish up by being the woman who writes 1000 pages in the end of the life, while only the in the last years the life would be perhaps in distinctive shapes? But the feeling of this moment is still important and you have just ready that. The matter of changing is sometimes so irritating:
Cuba travel- not Cuba travel
Studying sth?- not studying
Amsterdam?- not Amsterdam
Out?- In!

Dwarfs are rassists!!

This is a way to express my envy. Like my 18 children from time to time say „I want it too!“ Then I am thinking why don´t I have the German advents gift calender! They have a row of stars made of cloth on the wall and there have the dwarfs brought 24 gifts- candles, hat, self-made decorations and all you need to make your Christmastime even better. The Germans living here, get, and nothing for me? Have you seen a better example of discrimination (The Universal Declaration of Human Rights Article 2).

I have always known how the best way to change the obsoleted ways of living and thinking is in the kindergarten. But how this is put into practice, was unknown for me. Bit by bit I have become to notice that in my workplace. The way how the children are taught to say the kids that bully them or show in other ways their aggressive nature how this behavior is not appropriate here and they do not like it. This education is missing from quite many people whose kindergarten years are in the past and lead successfully a honourable company.

The equality is another theme that I have to think about in my work. The fact that every child must be equal and they all have the same rights, is connected with each assignment. The children must have all the equally big gifts, all be on the photos equal times and so on.

Giftideas??

What is EVS? The wonder of this projekt, in which i am myself makes me even more help others. It makes you the biggest gift that you could every hope. When the biggest and best excuse is removed why not to notice or help, (connection with the occupation time and Buchenwald) and you have quite much time on your hands you just see the problems you yourself and others have. So who needs a giftidea? The best for you, the world and the reciever is time. I cannot go on without remarking that my favourite seminar maker told that he does not have a clock, he has time:)

The other giftidea ist actually the work of my two months and with that also you can give the people you love, time. Time to do good and to live happily, helping yourself and the others. The Calendar is a good mood calendar, which looks just fabulous. It will be published the next week:) Then You will be here the first ones who get more information about my big secret:)

What did soncorn as mammacorn- where is popcorn!

Oh. I do not anything to say in my excuse to say. I guess there was to much happening at the same time that I did not have too much time even to reflect. You know that is the feeling in the shop when you see too many little cute things that to some extent are the same and can´t choose. So was it also with my life, it was sometimes too much to talk about and then- I did not speak here openly and honestly about anything. Not able to decide whether to say a few words about the Estonian evening, wintery Germany, cultural differences in my life or the brilliance of my children, drum lessons and capoeira, Clown lessons or Calender project, language jokes or evs experience. Now I do not have to knit with open threads anymore- I have only the end in my hands. I have soon done as much as I can and now I can see how the destiny develops itself. With these threads (read: projects and activities, responsibilities and work) seems to be only two possibilities- they can hang me, they can crone me and help you myself prove. Ho.

Sometimes you just nee to have a little push from a friend or a better overview from the situation to understand what is the most important at the moment. This distancing from yourself and activities is the best way to plan life. I have here only a half time more. So I just need to turn the sandclock upside down and reflect more.

Recommendation: Write all the wishes, dreams, plans you have on little post-its and gather them into one little box.

Leben des Stummfilms- s...Dummfilms / Elu tummfilm- tumbandusefilm

When there are so many emotions clustered in your little head, then it rather feels like already impossible nothing to say. Still, I will give it a try. To be honest, the titel says it all. It happens quite rarely that I could really sum up the whole thought in a few words, but this time it happened. I will perhaps come back to it later. A good time to ask what would you like first- the good or the bad news?

I will start of with something more positive better.

Let´s do it that way then this time. For the fist in three months I can see out!!! I can see out of the window, because till now we had these huge white building-cloth in front of the house because of the renovation. And today in the morning they actually took it away. I have not experienced that for a long time- to see out of the window. And now I can appreciate it more- that is like a silentmovie going on down there. Children playing ball with the mother and granny, youth "wasting" their time- chilling. I could describe that endlessly, that excited and happy am I about my view out of the window.

Having mentioned already the ball, then I would like to speak a little bit more about it. Behind that word in the rhames of my life is a "monster" with four legs and a big grey head. My lovely boss here decided that our life would be cosier when in our life would be a dog. Actually she always wants the best. Behind this idea is the terms "happy family model with dog" and "animals have a therapical effect on people", on the other hand I could never know what a person thinks (Gott sei dank!), it could be here for million of reason. So the thing is that we welcomed here, in our quite small living a very sweet and nice French girl, but she has a big dog. We actually have not agreed with that, so we hope to get rid of the problem soon.
Actually the dog is quite sweet also and behaves good, but he is only too big for the living.

When I start talking about the biggest intercultural suprises, then I get goosehumps. This spine-chilling experience happened in my languagecourse and I got rid of some frustration talking with Giulia how unbelievably suprising can people be. So in the scene you can imagine A russian pensionere, a young russian man, 2 women from Ukraine and Chinese girl, the teacher who looks like an elf. Unfortunately was I also there, I quess it was time when I was astonished by the different nationalities more than I will be during the whole year! So this story starts as an anectode, let´s see on.

The topic like "The black people", "The poor people in the third world", "The moslems" ended all with the point that they are stupid, helplessly unintelligent. They do not have the right to name themselves as the russians or the germans... That was actually the idea of the russians, the others said politely that he has right for his opinion and let him talk and talk on. At least they wer themselves fascinated by their own thoughts. The Chinese girl, who did not understand so much, smiled always and the teacher said, who interesting that you so thing, but... . The next topic of these endless politically uncorrect opinions was about the history, what we should not talk about and forget the past, going on how good it is in Russia and how important the religion is. I do not even want to right here all the topics, because they were just non-sense. The intolerance and evilness of some people just suprises me. But afterall the EVS was called into being to raise tolerance and intercultural awareness, so these radical attitudes should gradually soften.

To recover from this intercultural shock, I will better go and recieve my Dog-therapy.

But before, I could mention that tonight went my bed almost in two parts(what did I do at the night??) and in our bathroom and toilet there has been a total darkness or two days already :)

Thread

I guess it is not too unusual being in a place to think every other week that this is my favorite town until I see another one. This is a story dedicated to the cities.
In Jena there is a lot of people, form different parts of Germany, from different countries and the atmosphere here is fantastic. The situation that you meet the people you know everywhere, because it is in the size of Tartu, is so cute. Jena is surrounded by mountains that are all in the hight of Suur Munamägi and they are covered with good hiking tracks. Because of them is in Jena always warmer then in everywhere else. There are not too many people and always when I meet somebody up threre we greet eachother. Once when a bikers group went pass then I had to say 20 times “Gutten Tag!”. What makes Jena more interesting is that it is so manysided. Besides the river-side cute houses, the oldtown, villas, we have also here the “Little Russland”. That looks like Lasnamäe, but here accure different nationalities. For example one man from Africa that is an excellent Drum-player is my most often “Hello-friend”. I see him quite often and always we say hello as we knew each-other for long. The atmosphere in Jena is wonderful- free, friendly, people are cute and curious. So in the tram the last week I mate a girl from Turkey. She is studying here Politics.
Jena is opening up to me bit-by-bit. As I have a year I must say that I do not city yet at all. But I have had to made little tours for my dear Estonians here and I am a guide for the girl that works here from march, but does not know many people here. And I personally have not had right tour myself. But in Jena, where are very many hidden places that are around the corner, you can discover so much, when you just open your eyes. So I quess there is enough to discover here till the next summer.
Rudolfstadt is the cutest little town I have seen. For me Rudolfstadt could be the synonym for cute. There happened a funny insident I have been told many times and where I am actually the main character. As always the situation where I do not understand the whole conversation exactly is not new for me, so when I set a meeting time with the boy from the town I must have heard wrongly. He was there earlier than I and was looking for me. As he is a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a volunteer I knew is Estonia that came from Germany, he did not know how to find me. He was asking from the people standing in the trainstation whether they are Leene. And actually he asked from my friends who coincidentally also there were. And they told me about it later, many times as a matter of fact. That day I had to meet also the friend of a friend of a friend of a volunteer I knew is Estonia who told me about this boy in Rudolfstadt. As I had been writing with her for a couple of months we were eager to meet each other. But we did not meet afterall on that day. What the funniest was- when my train left the trainstation to go to Jena, Sara´s train arrived...
But today was the day I met Sara, last time mentioning that she was the friend of a friend of a friend of a volunteer I knew is Estonia. In Germany it is very popular to do Voluntary year. It is like my project, but in Germany then. The third favourite city- Weimar. The choise became only because of the little shops. Oh these second-hand shops, cute-thing-shops and postcardshops- that is something unbelievable.

The keyhole

The most popular questions what I have to answer every day- where are you from and why did you choose germany. With the first one there cannot be many difficulties. Sometimes it might be a little bit tiring, as my friend in the second half of Evs chose another country and name to introduce herself, but it is a good place to start a conversation. The other question more complex. I could talk about it for hours. So i could start with the fact that Germans are so cute and lovely people and tell them stories of my friends, tell about the way to get to know myself better in an environment, where my siblings as well live. And yet they wait to hear a short answer. The best answer I have heard to this question was given by the spanish volunteer Rafael here who said he would like to learn how to be practical, organised and make plans like the germans. I do not have such a good answer yet figured out- i have to work on it more. One of the trains of thought is visible here.

The Evs is for me something very clear as in Estonia my relations with the volunteers were quite close. Or should I say has been? With every experience there is a big difference between practical and theoretical. Until I came here EVS remained only a word for me, one of these tousands of terms I am familiar to. I must say that I think I have not understood it yet that I am not here for the summer only, there will come the autumn and winter, finally spring.

As I am here experiencing this year, the project, then the words that were to define Evs are probably changing. At the moment I would say that EVs is "looking through the keyhole from the other side".These rather distant words must become more clear, but that in the future, but now on this milestone i have recorded them. To explain a bit more why the activity with the keyhole, I will spend a couple of lines. It cannot be the key, it might have referred to it like that, but no trip cannot bring automatically the solutions. The project is rather connected with viewing and concentrated looks(besides asking questions) what is the premise for learning, understanding and adjusting.

I cannot say that every person needs to go through this amasing experience like Evs (although every second should do that ;), this is said little overexaggeratedly to stress how much I value it). Evs quite often means just being ready to adjust to a new environment and being ready to go through with your dreams, the changes that are vital. This is the thing I have believed for two years and I am witnessing it at the moment. I cannot deny that it is possible to achieve such attitude and energy, environment and changes in every place.

As I have thought quite a lot about the meaning of Evs, for me til now the most important factor is time. Time makes evs so magical time. The fact that the volunteers are not rushing through life, gives them moments with themselves, opportunity to analyse the development process and help others, to be creative . These different aspects can be summed up with the skill that is needed- noticing. And again, to see and understand your own character, others around you, cultural differences you need to take time.

Light

Love, love, love. I just love Jena and all that is here, including me.
I could tell about my interesting day at work or the walking trip I took another day, my wonderful friends from Estonia that jump in in different ways to my life still being still in my mind and heart, always with me, but these are the longlasting and stable pieces in my mind-puzzles so to say the cornerpieces of the puzzle. Not to loose the thought and feelings of the moment, I will use this colourful page at the moment.

The importance of water in our lives cannot be underestimated in any way. In these hot days as now is it essential. But also other forms. The rain falling through the air, from sky like sharp needles going through the cloth. Also the dramatic flash in the sky that makes everything clear and as if the sky wakes up for a second until the stable darkness takes over again. These are the forces of nature that remind themselves, to us, that we perhaps would not forget the importnace of balance. Too poetical? Heh. Yes, these were the first days that I saw rain in Germany. Indeed, here are also not so sunny days, I cannot believe my eyes.

I took a better look at my neighbourhood. To see all these cubicals...all the lives of people pushed into shaped forms, yes the apartment buildings. Behind each light window there is still a story, but it is often easier not to bother ourselves with all that. But to take a moment to care, take a moment to listen, the real stage of theater opens before your eyes.

When not talking the light of flash or lamps that I see from windows, rather like understanding and awareness, then I would like to mention the importance of keepin g our lives shining. Those "ahaa " moments sometimes appearing to rarely, but I quess we have them when we are ready for it. I must admit that tonight was the time when I discovered and understood the different stories I have heared and experienced for the past days.

Perhaps I am too hasty when making the following remarks, and I guess a bit rude also, but if from the different pieces of puzzle, came that kind of picture, what can I do. I would like to contiunue the above mentioned light motiv. In the northen countries, where excits less natural sun, is more successful at such mind light, understanding, the light that illumines the world- each situation and phenomenon. It seems that the northen countries can be proud of more science achievements. There is not much proof to that, I could mention Sweden where they afterall give out the Nobel prize and a row of German scientist starting from Carl Zeiss, who invented the lens, from my little Jena. But the rude statement is just because of my co-volunteer Raffa, who dared to say that German is illogical, just because for a spanish person it is difficult language. Although the structure of the sentence is the same as in the latin (having the auxilliary verb in the first part of the sentence and the main verb in the end) and the Germans say the numbers differently from the English (45 the say 5 and 40) he has no right to say that as a fact. It could be his belief, but not such a fact. Yes, it took half an hour before he had come out with all his arguments and thoughts one worse than other. So as always people have personal reasons for coming to different conclusions, although not always they are ready to be open with discussing those, is this for my south-north topic here.

The lightning made the sky as white as chalk, again. What a beautiful logical English sentence to finish.

In the middle of The Story...

I am here, because of many reasons, but the most easily explainable is the language and this is important for me at the moment. German really is cute in my opinion and it is the language of philosophy and educational theory. So this is where I start my experience in living in this language- at the moment the words are just words for me and I mix them up easily, English and Estonian are as a bridge for me to understand the German language.

I was just week ago in my favourite little town which is just like cut out from a fairy-tale. And when I think about it was just as if cut out of a fairy-tale, the houses seemed like made from chocholate and cream as i it would be possible to have there from curly roof-edges some sweet bites. Actually there was more to it than just these houses, during the day we told quite a many fairy-tales in our little group. The reson why I happen to enter the walls of this wonderful city, was the greatest folkfestival in Germany (a couple of years ago also in Europe). We had a supernice host Philip, a local. Though he could give as only one entrycard, it made or entry to the concert a lot more like an adventure. There was all kinds of folkmusic, starting from a german version of Indegolapsed, moving on with a german 70-year-old violist in pink trousers and finishing with world music from Brasil to India.

For me the next situation is the perfect example of how representatives of different cultures tell the always the same stories, in different words or phrases, terms. So I enjoyed when I was told about Snowwhite, like for them also for me quite known tale, it was quite a good example how differences of the cultures do not play that big role. As I could focus only on the differences, I can and do try to see the similarities of different cultures.

As here I do encounter quite a many people from different counties, it was an interesting experience to meet Frence students here, but also to see a French movie.
For me the most clarly came foward the fact that as their life emotional expression is important, then their films also emphisise more the effects that play with the feelings of the audience. So lots of songs, love scenes, everyday situations are there made me rather emotional about the topics discussed. So it seemed that they do not think about the goal, the main idea, the themes the movie wants to stress, like in many other films, we could say that I learned that or this. Just the process, different magical moments, watching the people running their course are the key points, the audience can get from this artistic achievement. I really do not like that much any more the films I have seen so far, where the main idea is so touchable and more and more going to ignore American mainstream production.

As the last part a little about tandems. I am in a tandem- in pair with a german girl who wants to practise English and as I want to imporve my German, she helps me with this. She was the one who explained me why so many in Germany want to go to the states. The reason is the same as centuries before- freedom. It seems for them the opposite to Germany, while here is everything very regulated and social system is of highest importance, then they search for something different in Usa. Although there is everything liberal and more anonymus, I am not very sure that is a logical place where could search for something very different.

sounds of life

Although it has become a everyday-thing seeing rabbits, I am still amased by it.
I have been for the last days on different sides of the Saale, the river going through Jena, my cosy town.
Although there is confusion, fusion and on-going melodies in my few past days I will start with the last one.
The sound that usually come out of me, remind German. Although quite often I have to say "Ich habe dich nicht verstanden"... So most of the Germans think when I open my mouth that I am from Austria, which is not the worst situation.
Today spending time at the Uni campus square at the sofa party (quite cool sitting on a huge sofa, in a mind rain). It was my first rainy day here, to be honest, the weather is like a slow mirror to my feelings, because yesterday was the first a little sad day, because of uncertainty and false-hopes. So that was the place where I could practise my jembe and samba skills a bit.
These were the words that came out of my tonight, about the sounds that have come out of me. I guess that with the words and sounds, they sometimes say more about a person out of the context than seen in stories or songs, I just have this feeling.
Tomorrow I will go to see a film "Songs of love", let´s see how that sounds then... ;)

Darker nights

Sometimes I feel a bit empty...For that reason the emotions coming out of me are more rather as of side-watchers. So I do not have the energy to be so amased at everything, to analyse enough, open a dictionary or a book.

The situation when anybody is not really waiting anything from me, is new. The striving force behind everything should be me, will be me, am I.

At times when all the volunteers are as tired and full of impressions they cannot express, or else they would be like durasel bunnies. At moments like these we perhaps just breath together like was an hour ago by the Saale river where we looked at the stars and planes in a total darkness.

As we have here already discussed the beerprices and tobacoprises in Portugal, Rumania, Estonia and Germany, was today time for sushi. In Italy costs one plateof sushi 50 Euros! Here we could get a frozen sushi with 3 Euros.

Tomorrow I will go to Rudolstadt for two days. Earlier as I already mentioned how much I like to see little signs of doing the right thing, I had this feeling again.
A rather complex story why am I going to Rudolstadt festival. I met a volunteer from Germany in Tallinn, who got the contact of one German volunteer in Weimar from a friend. So this girl gave me the contact of the boy in Rudolstadt and i will meet those two in there tomorrow.

In the end one fun story from my everyday life. As you aleady know I have here very cool workers who start at 7 from the appartment above us, every day! One morning, being almost naked in my room, I saw one workmen behind my window and after a fierce scream, I ran quickly to another room. The workmen must have been suprised.

The Suns shine

All the people around me inspire me. I am quite, very sure that all the people that would or have read this have helped me to go back again to myself, that means go on, or just stay on the round-way of my life. One very special person, who helped me to take another step once again, to come to those thoughts, would have a tea in front of her now and read another time this- thank you for her.

The roundway of life...
I so love life as it is. Sometimes it seams that some people just cannot get over their problems- always the same issues. That is perhaps because of the fact that they try to solve their problems, by always using the same solution. So in that way sending us the same obstacles we have to overcome, by understanding what we need to improve in ourselves. Always the same rounds of life, always coming back to youself. I have stopped getting angry at others, because the fact that something bad happens to me come all down to my attitude and behaviour. The sentence that helps me to go on, love the processes, is "change what you can and do not try o change something that you cannot change."

The bridge to tomorrow...
At the moment I feel just so wonderful, the day has been awesome and I would like that to pass on to tomorrow, not sleeping. Of course that would mean a bit more sleepy happy me. I am afraid that something could happen durning my sleep- the bridge to tomorrow- and I would not feel as well.

The lighthouses of my life...
I feel here that my balancepoint has changed. Me, as a tomorrow´s child, planning on, I have even more connected with travelling. Because of that I had a problematic question for me- what about stability. The answer to that lays in my lighthouses. As I have the inspiring people as you, who are still in my home, in my city, in my country, I have the balancepoint. Sometimes when I might disappear for myself, lose myself, I get strenght and guidence from your light.

In the past months I have begun to appreciate light. The light of sun that shines on everybody regardless of the social status or nationality, the warmth of souls, the beauty of people.

I would like to say thank you, but the cannot replace the sense of care and warmth of a hug.