I have been thinking here rather much about the habits and daily routines: how to be fit and healthy, how to plan my day, how to be successful. In the cases of successful people there has been always been a process from one extrem to another, to find in the end the middleway. When to look for an example go my thoughts somehow far in East and to the prince who become a yogi before reaching his goals. That meant to decide to take instead of endless richness he chose total emptiness around him. But only when the inner state of him could be described by these words, he became who we know as Buddha. In the process of learning one should go through a similar path. At first to get a hang of using the write words and phrases in th suitable places is difficult, but achievable. Still, the greatest masters do not use the words because they sound good and make the text more beautiful. Britta Tarvis, the most expert person that I know from literature critics in England, has told me that the finest way to write is concentrating on the thoughts and not the words.

Today started somehow so beautifully- from the moment I woke up the sun was shining for me. Walking along the streets to a friend of mine to eat together, in reality,through a bad foggy whether, I could somehow still hear the birds singing happily and could notice walking by from a window how a woman was singing inside. Having eaten and looking outside from the window, I fet as if I was in Italy- pinetree and the simple and funny Italian atmosphere. The food we together for lunch had cooked was amasing good and I loved how we were both hyperexited about the "Reißverschluss"- zipper, what was 1851 discovered in Usa. And I achieved a lot of goals what I could had never hoped. And I quess the big reason behind the happiness was that I went to bed with a good feeling, having thought about the nice day had had.

Practically speaking, I had moved from knowledge and skill to attitude that means the last step of learningprocess. I name the most important keythoughts in being healty and successful:) To leave hours between eating(time for digesting), not to eat sweets- cacaocream(cacao, honey, warm water and vanille or dried orange peels, dried cranberries) instead of all of that junk, regular meals(thanks to kindergarten), to repeat, rethink the learned material of the day through(or in-formal lessons)in the evening like blogging, The three-minute-rule(do everything that takes so much time instantly, not postphoning it), to choose the priority nr one of the week(helps easily achieve goals), to keep a little bit order,to do sports(when nothing more than a walk or 5 minutes of yoga)daily and when I have a little bit of enthusiasm after all of this take a minihobby a week.

my name is Leene and I have an addiction..

I have an addiction, calling to dear people too often, sometimes...Not so shocking that you might have guessed reading the headline? Well, but to see the bills in the end of the month is quite breathtaking, if you know what I mean. I should use more telepathy. As a proof I just found out that my phone bill was enormous. Yes, I must agree, that is a ridiculously pointless topic. But to end this topic I will cite Arne Laur: the most important is to find alternatives to get rid of bad habits.
And of course to justify the little meaningfulness of this post I would like to point that it is equally important to start from little bad habits improving yourself. As well as, sharing your experience with others, because this helps you to become more sure in your plans. Of course I have to add here: Sharing is caring ;) I just had to mention this*.

Now i make heaps of mails to your mailbox, they are like snails, coming after another. I hope they won´t leave too much slime behind.

Under topic habits I must quote Mart Laisk(from the film Magnus). He told me when I drove with him on Tallinn-Tartu highway that you do not have to get rid of habits, habits have to offload you.

* This was the name of my project "Sharing is caring" last year that was targeted orphanage children. We went to play with them during a year four times a month. Just this part here can be a little reminder of my past...to myself. If I had not mentioned it, the funny part would have been then just an inside joke with myself, but that is a just a little bit weird.

Time-mugger!

I am astonished, a bit even shocked how sometimes truth looks you straight in the eye, you might notice it or not. The last thing you should do is to deny it and lie to yourself! I won´t do it. I took this picture somewhere from the open space of Internet and just now, having published it, I read it says time for school. So time four school, here I come Orlando, Stalin with his NEP and Hamlet. I won´t let myself be waited for long! But still would like to yell in dismay as Faust, oh beautiful beautiful moment delay.(Oh hetk,veel viibi. ) And actually I love learning, especially when I can do it at home, in peaceful atmasphere.
By the way yesterday I read that Faustus means happy person. Hah!

A mug

At first, I must express my strong dissatisfaction towards the fact that snow has disappeared. My snowy Island of Thoughts here might be the last snowy virtual bit of Tallinn right now. And that is sad.
I just realized(this might be the most frequently used words here. But as I discover new things I want to sort them out from some crap information, so this is the place or to sort this as crap out of the real hard good info, can be a two side street) , but did I realize. Oh yes, this blog robs me time.

And another thing, as I not yet in my 12th grade do not have a positive attitude towards my school, but not that I do not understand and tolerate it, especially the need for education, just the frame of it buts me a little bit off. But now weird to say I miss some parts of it, my class teacher who says odd things as a two way street it is, not the cup of tea I would drink and makes odd faces. Yesterday I really felt like I am almost getting to see and understand my class and the system better, but now I cannot phrase it yet.

To say some things about this blog. I at the moment define it as an island, I gather all my thoughts into one bottle and throw it to the sea, to get rid of those things, that might be also referred to as sending out new posts. This is an island and sometimes writing it it seems as if I am on an boat going to see some other "thought-islands". Here I tell my favourite story of a ship. A man wanted to go in search of an inhabited island and to cut a short story even shorter, he named his ship Unknown island and the story ended with a sentence, "Unknown island" went in search of itself. Then coming back to this mountain of impressions and reflections, I can use it as a rock. But if it is an mountainous island then it might be even a volcanic island and might explode some time in the future? I may stop this thought here.

In the end it is just a time-mugger, that consumes my time and I allow it to happen. At this moment I could read about NEP- politics in the Soviet Union and I will do it, but... in a few seconds. Oh, A happy tone in the end, I have to finish Hamlet, read the second part of Orlando(love it actually) and start reading Bulgakov, oh, hjappy day. I seem to understand that my new hobby is literature. Quite interesting, I feel I have not chosen it, but is came to my life thanks to a beloved teacher.

I sometimes must remind myself of a habit that is have not corrected in myself yet. And saying that sentence I reminded that, I do not need to tell you, because if it annoys you, you might understand, if not then I am just speaking in my own head. Old habits dye hard as they, English, say.

How do you feel?

I do not like narcissism, but I must admit I like the result of this blog.
The most interesting thing with blogs is connected with the fact that it is a reflection of yourself that you design yourself.
I just an hour ago read Hamlet and there he fronted his dead father. After that situation he saw what a fool he had been, what meaningless things had done and meaningless worries! He promised to change his way of living from that instant! I think during those two-three years before I abandon this nest, I will see the times when I say, how can I have lived like this? Of course life for the past months I have been active or non-active, even passive blog-writer, I have seen development and change in my, but this is more gradually and step-by-step like a perpetual mobile. I think this is a bit better way, more stable and less nerve- racking( literary speaking: to take myself apart and to build myself up again and again) But I will see how it is going to be in the future.
I just today understood that reflection , a method of developing, as it is, can be done in various stages. First in ones´s mind the observations of my actions and behaviour. Secondly the written part, as can be seen here or done in a table(knowledge, skill, attitude). Thirdly the reflection can occur in a conversation or in a judgement or comment of a teacher(the most direct one). To assess your own development or to lead your achievements to a specific goal in is necessary to take into account the changes in you thinking and the material mastered. So time to time, to be honest every second, but not to scare myself, starting bit-by-bit, ask myself how do I feel?
For example here I realized that my sentenced are too long. I know I have till now put one thought into one sentence, but I should but one thought into one paragraph.
That was a part of my self-analyses, connected with blog-writing pros. I guess I will come to the point what are the cons, because yet I do not know them.
I now feel that blog has become almost an habit, almost like an addiction. A famous and scandalous film-writer (film is Magnus, interesting film, Estonian, but interesting) said that you do not have to try to drop anything, smoking, drinking alcohol. You just have to come to the point when you do not need it (to have an alternative as Arne Laur said) and to start studying well let the habit of studying come to you, let yourself to become the addict of it. Yeah, he knew about the addictions, as some other art-related people.

I just realized that it is so much easier to spend an hour doing something than each day five minutes. But is it really important for me to force myself into the routine of five-minute obligations-pleasures. Yes. I know it myself. Not to create a snow-ball-effect i9n my life. I know.
You just experienced an inner monologue in my head. Saying it out loud, makes me realize more seriousness of the meaning, Of the true feeling'.
It is scary how similar words are monologue and monomaan=monomanic, yes the mono prefix, of course, but something else also.