I guess it is not too unusual being in a place to think every other week that this is my favorite town until I see another one. This is a story dedicated to the cities.
In Jena there is a lot of people, form different parts of Germany, from different countries and the atmosphere here is fantastic. The situation that you meet the people you know everywhere, because it is in the size of Tartu, is so cute. Jena is surrounded by mountains that are all in the hight of Suur Munamägi and they are covered with good hiking tracks. Because of them is in Jena always warmer then in everywhere else. There are not too many people and always when I meet somebody up threre we greet eachother. Once when a bikers group went pass then I had to say 20 times “Gutten Tag!”. What makes Jena more interesting is that it is so manysided. Besides the river-side cute houses, the oldtown, villas, we have also here the “Little Russland”. That looks like Lasnamäe, but here accure different nationalities. For example one man from Africa that is an excellent Drum-player is my most often “Hello-friend”. I see him quite often and always we say hello as we knew each-other for long. The atmosphere in Jena is wonderful- free, friendly, people are cute and curious. So in the tram the last week I mate a girl from Turkey. She is studying here Politics.
Jena is opening up to me bit-by-bit. As I have a year I must say that I do not city yet at all. But I have had to made little tours for my dear Estonians here and I am a guide for the girl that works here from march, but does not know many people here. And I personally have not had right tour myself. But in Jena, where are very many hidden places that are around the corner, you can discover so much, when you just open your eyes. So I quess there is enough to discover here till the next summer.
Rudolfstadt is the cutest little town I have seen. For me Rudolfstadt could be the synonym for cute. There happened a funny insident I have been told many times and where I am actually the main character. As always the situation where I do not understand the whole conversation exactly is not new for me, so when I set a meeting time with the boy from the town I must have heard wrongly. He was there earlier than I and was looking for me. As he is a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a volunteer I knew is Estonia that came from Germany, he did not know how to find me. He was asking from the people standing in the trainstation whether they are Leene. And actually he asked from my friends who coincidentally also there were. And they told me about it later, many times as a matter of fact. That day I had to meet also the friend of a friend of a friend of a volunteer I knew is Estonia who told me about this boy in Rudolfstadt. As I had been writing with her for a couple of months we were eager to meet each other. But we did not meet afterall on that day. What the funniest was- when my train left the trainstation to go to Jena, Sara´s train arrived...
But today was the day I met Sara, last time mentioning that she was the friend of a friend of a friend of a volunteer I knew is Estonia. In Germany it is very popular to do Voluntary year. It is like my project, but in Germany then. The third favourite city- Weimar. The choise became only because of the little shops. Oh these second-hand shops, cute-thing-shops and postcardshops- that is something unbelievable.
This is a diary about the days in Germany... the days before and after. What could be behind those years- a Rabbit-hole, the magic window to the world. And what is the elefant doing there- i do not know yet, but i will have to find out, you as well ;)
Thursday, 19 August 2010
Wednesday, 18 August 2010
The keyhole
The most popular questions what I have to answer every day- where are you from and why did you choose germany. With the first one there cannot be many difficulties. Sometimes it might be a little bit tiring, as my friend in the second half of Evs chose another country and name to introduce herself, but it is a good place to start a conversation. The other question more complex. I could talk about it for hours. So i could start with the fact that Germans are so cute and lovely people and tell them stories of my friends, tell about the way to get to know myself better in an environment, where my siblings as well live. And yet they wait to hear a short answer. The best answer I have heard to this question was given by the spanish volunteer Rafael here who said he would like to learn how to be practical, organised and make plans like the germans. I do not have such a good answer yet figured out- i have to work on it more. One of the trains of thought is visible here.
The Evs is for me something very clear as in Estonia my relations with the volunteers were quite close. Or should I say has been? With every experience there is a big difference between practical and theoretical. Until I came here EVS remained only a word for me, one of these tousands of terms I am familiar to. I must say that I think I have not understood it yet that I am not here for the summer only, there will come the autumn and winter, finally spring.
As I am here experiencing this year, the project, then the words that were to define Evs are probably changing. At the moment I would say that EVs is "looking through the keyhole from the other side".These rather distant words must become more clear, but that in the future, but now on this milestone i have recorded them. To explain a bit more why the activity with the keyhole, I will spend a couple of lines. It cannot be the key, it might have referred to it like that, but no trip cannot bring automatically the solutions. The project is rather connected with viewing and concentrated looks(besides asking questions) what is the premise for learning, understanding and adjusting.
I cannot say that every person needs to go through this amasing experience like Evs (although every second should do that ;), this is said little overexaggeratedly to stress how much I value it). Evs quite often means just being ready to adjust to a new environment and being ready to go through with your dreams, the changes that are vital. This is the thing I have believed for two years and I am witnessing it at the moment. I cannot deny that it is possible to achieve such attitude and energy, environment and changes in every place.
As I have thought quite a lot about the meaning of Evs, for me til now the most important factor is time. Time makes evs so magical time. The fact that the volunteers are not rushing through life, gives them moments with themselves, opportunity to analyse the development process and help others, to be creative . These different aspects can be summed up with the skill that is needed- noticing. And again, to see and understand your own character, others around you, cultural differences you need to take time.
The Evs is for me something very clear as in Estonia my relations with the volunteers were quite close. Or should I say has been? With every experience there is a big difference between practical and theoretical. Until I came here EVS remained only a word for me, one of these tousands of terms I am familiar to. I must say that I think I have not understood it yet that I am not here for the summer only, there will come the autumn and winter, finally spring.
As I am here experiencing this year, the project, then the words that were to define Evs are probably changing. At the moment I would say that EVs is "looking through the keyhole from the other side".These rather distant words must become more clear, but that in the future, but now on this milestone i have recorded them. To explain a bit more why the activity with the keyhole, I will spend a couple of lines. It cannot be the key, it might have referred to it like that, but no trip cannot bring automatically the solutions. The project is rather connected with viewing and concentrated looks(besides asking questions) what is the premise for learning, understanding and adjusting.
I cannot say that every person needs to go through this amasing experience like Evs (although every second should do that ;), this is said little overexaggeratedly to stress how much I value it). Evs quite often means just being ready to adjust to a new environment and being ready to go through with your dreams, the changes that are vital. This is the thing I have believed for two years and I am witnessing it at the moment. I cannot deny that it is possible to achieve such attitude and energy, environment and changes in every place.
As I have thought quite a lot about the meaning of Evs, for me til now the most important factor is time. Time makes evs so magical time. The fact that the volunteers are not rushing through life, gives them moments with themselves, opportunity to analyse the development process and help others, to be creative . These different aspects can be summed up with the skill that is needed- noticing. And again, to see and understand your own character, others around you, cultural differences you need to take time.
Saturday, 17 July 2010
Light
Love, love, love. I just love Jena and all that is here, including me.
I could tell about my interesting day at work or the walking trip I took another day, my wonderful friends from Estonia that jump in in different ways to my life still being still in my mind and heart, always with me, but these are the longlasting and stable pieces in my mind-puzzles so to say the cornerpieces of the puzzle. Not to loose the thought and feelings of the moment, I will use this colourful page at the moment.
The importance of water in our lives cannot be underestimated in any way. In these hot days as now is it essential. But also other forms. The rain falling through the air, from sky like sharp needles going through the cloth. Also the dramatic flash in the sky that makes everything clear and as if the sky wakes up for a second until the stable darkness takes over again. These are the forces of nature that remind themselves, to us, that we perhaps would not forget the importnace of balance. Too poetical? Heh. Yes, these were the first days that I saw rain in Germany. Indeed, here are also not so sunny days, I cannot believe my eyes.
I took a better look at my neighbourhood. To see all these cubicals...all the lives of people pushed into shaped forms, yes the apartment buildings. Behind each light window there is still a story, but it is often easier not to bother ourselves with all that. But to take a moment to care, take a moment to listen, the real stage of theater opens before your eyes.
When not talking the light of flash or lamps that I see from windows, rather like understanding and awareness, then I would like to mention the importance of keepin g our lives shining. Those "ahaa " moments sometimes appearing to rarely, but I quess we have them when we are ready for it. I must admit that tonight was the time when I discovered and understood the different stories I have heared and experienced for the past days.
Perhaps I am too hasty when making the following remarks, and I guess a bit rude also, but if from the different pieces of puzzle, came that kind of picture, what can I do. I would like to contiunue the above mentioned light motiv. In the northen countries, where excits less natural sun, is more successful at such mind light, understanding, the light that illumines the world- each situation and phenomenon. It seems that the northen countries can be proud of more science achievements. There is not much proof to that, I could mention Sweden where they afterall give out the Nobel prize and a row of German scientist starting from Carl Zeiss, who invented the lens, from my little Jena. But the rude statement is just because of my co-volunteer Raffa, who dared to say that German is illogical, just because for a spanish person it is difficult language. Although the structure of the sentence is the same as in the latin (having the auxilliary verb in the first part of the sentence and the main verb in the end) and the Germans say the numbers differently from the English (45 the say 5 and 40) he has no right to say that as a fact. It could be his belief, but not such a fact. Yes, it took half an hour before he had come out with all his arguments and thoughts one worse than other. So as always people have personal reasons for coming to different conclusions, although not always they are ready to be open with discussing those, is this for my south-north topic here.
The lightning made the sky as white as chalk, again. What a beautiful logical English sentence to finish.
I could tell about my interesting day at work or the walking trip I took another day, my wonderful friends from Estonia that jump in in different ways to my life still being still in my mind and heart, always with me, but these are the longlasting and stable pieces in my mind-puzzles so to say the cornerpieces of the puzzle. Not to loose the thought and feelings of the moment, I will use this colourful page at the moment.
The importance of water in our lives cannot be underestimated in any way. In these hot days as now is it essential. But also other forms. The rain falling through the air, from sky like sharp needles going through the cloth. Also the dramatic flash in the sky that makes everything clear and as if the sky wakes up for a second until the stable darkness takes over again. These are the forces of nature that remind themselves, to us, that we perhaps would not forget the importnace of balance. Too poetical? Heh. Yes, these were the first days that I saw rain in Germany. Indeed, here are also not so sunny days, I cannot believe my eyes.
I took a better look at my neighbourhood. To see all these cubicals...all the lives of people pushed into shaped forms, yes the apartment buildings. Behind each light window there is still a story, but it is often easier not to bother ourselves with all that. But to take a moment to care, take a moment to listen, the real stage of theater opens before your eyes.
When not talking the light of flash or lamps that I see from windows, rather like understanding and awareness, then I would like to mention the importance of keepin g our lives shining. Those "ahaa " moments sometimes appearing to rarely, but I quess we have them when we are ready for it. I must admit that tonight was the time when I discovered and understood the different stories I have heared and experienced for the past days.
Perhaps I am too hasty when making the following remarks, and I guess a bit rude also, but if from the different pieces of puzzle, came that kind of picture, what can I do. I would like to contiunue the above mentioned light motiv. In the northen countries, where excits less natural sun, is more successful at such mind light, understanding, the light that illumines the world- each situation and phenomenon. It seems that the northen countries can be proud of more science achievements. There is not much proof to that, I could mention Sweden where they afterall give out the Nobel prize and a row of German scientist starting from Carl Zeiss, who invented the lens, from my little Jena. But the rude statement is just because of my co-volunteer Raffa, who dared to say that German is illogical, just because for a spanish person it is difficult language. Although the structure of the sentence is the same as in the latin (having the auxilliary verb in the first part of the sentence and the main verb in the end) and the Germans say the numbers differently from the English (45 the say 5 and 40) he has no right to say that as a fact. It could be his belief, but not such a fact. Yes, it took half an hour before he had come out with all his arguments and thoughts one worse than other. So as always people have personal reasons for coming to different conclusions, although not always they are ready to be open with discussing those, is this for my south-north topic here.
The lightning made the sky as white as chalk, again. What a beautiful logical English sentence to finish.
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
In the middle of The Story...
I am here, because of many reasons, but the most easily explainable is the language and this is important for me at the moment. German really is cute in my opinion and it is the language of philosophy and educational theory. So this is where I start my experience in living in this language- at the moment the words are just words for me and I mix them up easily, English and Estonian are as a bridge for me to understand the German language.
I was just week ago in my favourite little town which is just like cut out from a fairy-tale. And when I think about it was just as if cut out of a fairy-tale, the houses seemed like made from chocholate and cream as i it would be possible to have there from curly roof-edges some sweet bites. Actually there was more to it than just these houses, during the day we told quite a many fairy-tales in our little group. The reson why I happen to enter the walls of this wonderful city, was the greatest folkfestival in Germany (a couple of years ago also in Europe). We had a supernice host Philip, a local. Though he could give as only one entrycard, it made or entry to the concert a lot more like an adventure. There was all kinds of folkmusic, starting from a german version of Indegolapsed, moving on with a german 70-year-old violist in pink trousers and finishing with world music from Brasil to India.
For me the next situation is the perfect example of how representatives of different cultures tell the always the same stories, in different words or phrases, terms. So I enjoyed when I was told about Snowwhite, like for them also for me quite known tale, it was quite a good example how differences of the cultures do not play that big role. As I could focus only on the differences, I can and do try to see the similarities of different cultures.
As here I do encounter quite a many people from different counties, it was an interesting experience to meet Frence students here, but also to see a French movie.
For me the most clarly came foward the fact that as their life emotional expression is important, then their films also emphisise more the effects that play with the feelings of the audience. So lots of songs, love scenes, everyday situations are there made me rather emotional about the topics discussed. So it seemed that they do not think about the goal, the main idea, the themes the movie wants to stress, like in many other films, we could say that I learned that or this. Just the process, different magical moments, watching the people running their course are the key points, the audience can get from this artistic achievement. I really do not like that much any more the films I have seen so far, where the main idea is so touchable and more and more going to ignore American mainstream production.
As the last part a little about tandems. I am in a tandem- in pair with a german girl who wants to practise English and as I want to imporve my German, she helps me with this. She was the one who explained me why so many in Germany want to go to the states. The reason is the same as centuries before- freedom. It seems for them the opposite to Germany, while here is everything very regulated and social system is of highest importance, then they search for something different in Usa. Although there is everything liberal and more anonymus, I am not very sure that is a logical place where could search for something very different.
I was just week ago in my favourite little town which is just like cut out from a fairy-tale. And when I think about it was just as if cut out of a fairy-tale, the houses seemed like made from chocholate and cream as i it would be possible to have there from curly roof-edges some sweet bites. Actually there was more to it than just these houses, during the day we told quite a many fairy-tales in our little group. The reson why I happen to enter the walls of this wonderful city, was the greatest folkfestival in Germany (a couple of years ago also in Europe). We had a supernice host Philip, a local. Though he could give as only one entrycard, it made or entry to the concert a lot more like an adventure. There was all kinds of folkmusic, starting from a german version of Indegolapsed, moving on with a german 70-year-old violist in pink trousers and finishing with world music from Brasil to India.
For me the next situation is the perfect example of how representatives of different cultures tell the always the same stories, in different words or phrases, terms. So I enjoyed when I was told about Snowwhite, like for them also for me quite known tale, it was quite a good example how differences of the cultures do not play that big role. As I could focus only on the differences, I can and do try to see the similarities of different cultures.
As here I do encounter quite a many people from different counties, it was an interesting experience to meet Frence students here, but also to see a French movie.
For me the most clarly came foward the fact that as their life emotional expression is important, then their films also emphisise more the effects that play with the feelings of the audience. So lots of songs, love scenes, everyday situations are there made me rather emotional about the topics discussed. So it seemed that they do not think about the goal, the main idea, the themes the movie wants to stress, like in many other films, we could say that I learned that or this. Just the process, different magical moments, watching the people running their course are the key points, the audience can get from this artistic achievement. I really do not like that much any more the films I have seen so far, where the main idea is so touchable and more and more going to ignore American mainstream production.
As the last part a little about tandems. I am in a tandem- in pair with a german girl who wants to practise English and as I want to imporve my German, she helps me with this. She was the one who explained me why so many in Germany want to go to the states. The reason is the same as centuries before- freedom. It seems for them the opposite to Germany, while here is everything very regulated and social system is of highest importance, then they search for something different in Usa. Although there is everything liberal and more anonymus, I am not very sure that is a logical place where could search for something very different.
Sunday, 4 July 2010
sounds of life
Although it has become a everyday-thing seeing rabbits, I am still amased by it.
I have been for the last days on different sides of the Saale, the river going through Jena, my cosy town.
Although there is confusion, fusion and on-going melodies in my few past days I will start with the last one.
The sound that usually come out of me, remind German. Although quite often I have to say "Ich habe dich nicht verstanden"... So most of the Germans think when I open my mouth that I am from Austria, which is not the worst situation.
Today spending time at the Uni campus square at the sofa party (quite cool sitting on a huge sofa, in a mind rain). It was my first rainy day here, to be honest, the weather is like a slow mirror to my feelings, because yesterday was the first a little sad day, because of uncertainty and false-hopes. So that was the place where I could practise my jembe and samba skills a bit.
These were the words that came out of my tonight, about the sounds that have come out of me. I guess that with the words and sounds, they sometimes say more about a person out of the context than seen in stories or songs, I just have this feeling.
Tomorrow I will go to see a film "Songs of love", let´s see how that sounds then... ;)
I have been for the last days on different sides of the Saale, the river going through Jena, my cosy town.
Although there is confusion, fusion and on-going melodies in my few past days I will start with the last one.
The sound that usually come out of me, remind German. Although quite often I have to say "Ich habe dich nicht verstanden"... So most of the Germans think when I open my mouth that I am from Austria, which is not the worst situation.
Today spending time at the Uni campus square at the sofa party (quite cool sitting on a huge sofa, in a mind rain). It was my first rainy day here, to be honest, the weather is like a slow mirror to my feelings, because yesterday was the first a little sad day, because of uncertainty and false-hopes. So that was the place where I could practise my jembe and samba skills a bit.
These were the words that came out of my tonight, about the sounds that have come out of me. I guess that with the words and sounds, they sometimes say more about a person out of the context than seen in stories or songs, I just have this feeling.
Tomorrow I will go to see a film "Songs of love", let´s see how that sounds then... ;)
Friday, 2 July 2010
Darker nights
Sometimes I feel a bit empty...For that reason the emotions coming out of me are more rather as of side-watchers. So I do not have the energy to be so amased at everything, to analyse enough, open a dictionary or a book.
The situation when anybody is not really waiting anything from me, is new. The striving force behind everything should be me, will be me, am I.
At times when all the volunteers are as tired and full of impressions they cannot express, or else they would be like durasel bunnies. At moments like these we perhaps just breath together like was an hour ago by the Saale river where we looked at the stars and planes in a total darkness.
As we have here already discussed the beerprices and tobacoprises in Portugal, Rumania, Estonia and Germany, was today time for sushi. In Italy costs one plateof sushi 50 Euros! Here we could get a frozen sushi with 3 Euros.
Tomorrow I will go to Rudolstadt for two days. Earlier as I already mentioned how much I like to see little signs of doing the right thing, I had this feeling again.
A rather complex story why am I going to Rudolstadt festival. I met a volunteer from Germany in Tallinn, who got the contact of one German volunteer in Weimar from a friend. So this girl gave me the contact of the boy in Rudolstadt and i will meet those two in there tomorrow.
In the end one fun story from my everyday life. As you aleady know I have here very cool workers who start at 7 from the appartment above us, every day! One morning, being almost naked in my room, I saw one workmen behind my window and after a fierce scream, I ran quickly to another room. The workmen must have been suprised.
The situation when anybody is not really waiting anything from me, is new. The striving force behind everything should be me, will be me, am I.
At times when all the volunteers are as tired and full of impressions they cannot express, or else they would be like durasel bunnies. At moments like these we perhaps just breath together like was an hour ago by the Saale river where we looked at the stars and planes in a total darkness.
As we have here already discussed the beerprices and tobacoprises in Portugal, Rumania, Estonia and Germany, was today time for sushi. In Italy costs one plateof sushi 50 Euros! Here we could get a frozen sushi with 3 Euros.
Tomorrow I will go to Rudolstadt for two days. Earlier as I already mentioned how much I like to see little signs of doing the right thing, I had this feeling again.
A rather complex story why am I going to Rudolstadt festival. I met a volunteer from Germany in Tallinn, who got the contact of one German volunteer in Weimar from a friend. So this girl gave me the contact of the boy in Rudolstadt and i will meet those two in there tomorrow.
In the end one fun story from my everyday life. As you aleady know I have here very cool workers who start at 7 from the appartment above us, every day! One morning, being almost naked in my room, I saw one workmen behind my window and after a fierce scream, I ran quickly to another room. The workmen must have been suprised.
Wednesday, 30 June 2010
The Suns shine
All the people around me inspire me. I am quite, very sure that all the people that would or have read this have helped me to go back again to myself, that means go on, or just stay on the round-way of my life. One very special person, who helped me to take another step once again, to come to those thoughts, would have a tea in front of her now and read another time this- thank you for her.
The roundway of life...
I so love life as it is. Sometimes it seams that some people just cannot get over their problems- always the same issues. That is perhaps because of the fact that they try to solve their problems, by always using the same solution. So in that way sending us the same obstacles we have to overcome, by understanding what we need to improve in ourselves. Always the same rounds of life, always coming back to youself. I have stopped getting angry at others, because the fact that something bad happens to me come all down to my attitude and behaviour. The sentence that helps me to go on, love the processes, is "change what you can and do not try o change something that you cannot change."
The bridge to tomorrow...
At the moment I feel just so wonderful, the day has been awesome and I would like that to pass on to tomorrow, not sleeping. Of course that would mean a bit more sleepy happy me. I am afraid that something could happen durning my sleep- the bridge to tomorrow- and I would not feel as well.
The lighthouses of my life...
I feel here that my balancepoint has changed. Me, as a tomorrow´s child, planning on, I have even more connected with travelling. Because of that I had a problematic question for me- what about stability. The answer to that lays in my lighthouses. As I have the inspiring people as you, who are still in my home, in my city, in my country, I have the balancepoint. Sometimes when I might disappear for myself, lose myself, I get strenght and guidence from your light.
In the past months I have begun to appreciate light. The light of sun that shines on everybody regardless of the social status or nationality, the warmth of souls, the beauty of people.
I would like to say thank you, but the cannot replace the sense of care and warmth of a hug.
The roundway of life...
I so love life as it is. Sometimes it seams that some people just cannot get over their problems- always the same issues. That is perhaps because of the fact that they try to solve their problems, by always using the same solution. So in that way sending us the same obstacles we have to overcome, by understanding what we need to improve in ourselves. Always the same rounds of life, always coming back to youself. I have stopped getting angry at others, because the fact that something bad happens to me come all down to my attitude and behaviour. The sentence that helps me to go on, love the processes, is "change what you can and do not try o change something that you cannot change."
The bridge to tomorrow...
At the moment I feel just so wonderful, the day has been awesome and I would like that to pass on to tomorrow, not sleeping. Of course that would mean a bit more sleepy happy me. I am afraid that something could happen durning my sleep- the bridge to tomorrow- and I would not feel as well.
The lighthouses of my life...
I feel here that my balancepoint has changed. Me, as a tomorrow´s child, planning on, I have even more connected with travelling. Because of that I had a problematic question for me- what about stability. The answer to that lays in my lighthouses. As I have the inspiring people as you, who are still in my home, in my city, in my country, I have the balancepoint. Sometimes when I might disappear for myself, lose myself, I get strenght and guidence from your light.
In the past months I have begun to appreciate light. The light of sun that shines on everybody regardless of the social status or nationality, the warmth of souls, the beauty of people.
I would like to say thank you, but the cannot replace the sense of care and warmth of a hug.
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