On the Orange in my hand there is written: Saksa Laine-kirjasulg

I leave this title in Estonian as a good example of the state of confusion, as I have just arrived in Germany from Estonia and having settled again in German everydaylife. When I arrived in my blockhouse, was opening the door downstairs and having noticed that somebody at the same time the door was opening, I said to them at the time of thanking and saying hello, "Tere"- in my thoughts I was still in Estonia.

I woke up today having a feeling that this day is a good new beginning. Of course every day is a new little beginning, but this day especially good. So today was started with yoga and meditation and ended with blogging and hearing German language (more specific "Deutsche Welle" ehk "Saksa laine"). It gives me a sort of comfort feeling and knowledge of development and insurance, that I can concentrate and open my life to new daily routines.

When I would start talking about all the other new routines- minutly be-happy attitude, daily thankfullness(analysis), monthly money calculations, weekly German lessons and walks, fortnightly new habbits like jonglen. So more can I at the moment even think of. All the other acticities I do for myself, I guess would be for that to make sure I keep those mentioned. And what to think of this bunch of ideas? That to make sure the ideas that are shared, are kept and remembered. Having maken sure for myself, that having already a system, can everyone in this plan many many spontan ideas add. And if after this letter I really manage to write every day here, would be a creat achivement and a basis for all other ideas.

I love fascination, questions and paralels. It make life go in the right way. Or lets us think that lifes goes in the right way. I was sharing time with my cousin´s daughters and one dialog, what I loved:
- "Why do the little ones always cry and scream?"
- "The always have a reason, and it is a very big one, for them.And even when it is something of a reason like "the oranges are orange" they still have it."

The sequens of similar occasions in life are fascinating. The parallels, similarities that can be drawn from day to day. That is the only reason why I want to grow old. The fact how I could think out (like one of the persons I admire) why I have I had such friends like I have had and why have i had similar problems that repeat form time to time, why have I had certain illnesses.
Now about the oranges. One of my favourite books was "Organge girl" for a while only because of the first picture. Now just because I remembered how good it was, suddenly having seen it in the hands of one friend of mine. I liked the fact that somebody having a hard time would buy a basket of oranges. I love one frined of mine who on our travels would go to simple bars where they have put out oranges to show that they make fresh juice, would buy there one. Even more I love thouse baarkeepers who would give this girl the orange for free and say something nice. The theapic procedure of peeling an orange and the nice smile of my friend who has seen, that I have a given her a orange in the hand that has a smile.

The questions of the day: what makes me fascinated, would I like to grow old, what there was a one day cap- no tomorrow, but all the 364 days after it.

Plätzchen, lebekuchen, pfefferkuchen, Orangekeekse, Stollen, Zimtkuchen!

We have Gingerbread and Christmasbread, they have here in Germany for christmas and wintertime so many different types of cookies (and these are only for christmas specialties!).

A new baby was born...
for the Banana- Avocado. Who is the father?

Everybody who knows about artificial insemination principals, knows that with putting in the fertile soil a seed, there is a possibility of nascency of a new plant. The flowerpot, where was growning a lonely banana-plant,

When my life would be a couch, then in this year at them moment, sitting on this couch you could enjoy from a mountain peak a view under on the village. Looking from above under, there would be possible in the night distinguish only the bigger and smaller lights in this village. These are almost like lighthouses, but the distance from each other and the sea wont let them.

To start talking about the couch itself then the size of it is now unknown- time will give a good explanation to this matter The couch will be colourful, mostly yellow-orange-red-brown just like my new woolly socks. As one armrest you see would be a drum and as another armrest there would be a “German-Estonian understanding dictionary”. The seat itself would be a big big yellow pillow that looks like the sun.

Ginger tea with orange, japanese mint-ginger warmer with little lemon, Rooibus Chai, Banana- cherry infusion...

I looove wintertime !

At the moment I find it rather good that the previous posts were written "in white ink". Otherwise in black and white every sprcial occasion would have been too much work- every second I would have had something to write, ther is too much miracles of the winter that have revieled themselves in this snowy Jena.

Prison

I do have nothing to say, all the words are in the air. They are flying and changing. Whether to try to catch them and force them on this black and white prison or to leave them just alone? I feel at the moment like making the feelings the experience into a formed shape, is wrong. They can be in change. Making any statements is too early. And then? I will finish up by being the woman who writes 1000 pages in the end of the life, while only the in the last years the life would be perhaps in distinctive shapes? But the feeling of this moment is still important and you have just ready that. The matter of changing is sometimes so irritating:
Cuba travel- not Cuba travel
Studying sth?- not studying
Amsterdam?- not Amsterdam
Out?- In!

Dwarfs are rassists!!

This is a way to express my envy. Like my 18 children from time to time say „I want it too!“ Then I am thinking why don´t I have the German advents gift calender! They have a row of stars made of cloth on the wall and there have the dwarfs brought 24 gifts- candles, hat, self-made decorations and all you need to make your Christmastime even better. The Germans living here, get, and nothing for me? Have you seen a better example of discrimination (The Universal Declaration of Human Rights Article 2).

I have always known how the best way to change the obsoleted ways of living and thinking is in the kindergarten. But how this is put into practice, was unknown for me. Bit by bit I have become to notice that in my workplace. The way how the children are taught to say the kids that bully them or show in other ways their aggressive nature how this behavior is not appropriate here and they do not like it. This education is missing from quite many people whose kindergarten years are in the past and lead successfully a honourable company.

The equality is another theme that I have to think about in my work. The fact that every child must be equal and they all have the same rights, is connected with each assignment. The children must have all the equally big gifts, all be on the photos equal times and so on.

Giftideas??

What is EVS? The wonder of this projekt, in which i am myself makes me even more help others. It makes you the biggest gift that you could every hope. When the biggest and best excuse is removed why not to notice or help, (connection with the occupation time and Buchenwald) and you have quite much time on your hands you just see the problems you yourself and others have. So who needs a giftidea? The best for you, the world and the reciever is time. I cannot go on without remarking that my favourite seminar maker told that he does not have a clock, he has time:)

The other giftidea ist actually the work of my two months and with that also you can give the people you love, time. Time to do good and to live happily, helping yourself and the others. The Calendar is a good mood calendar, which looks just fabulous. It will be published the next week:) Then You will be here the first ones who get more information about my big secret:)

What did soncorn as mammacorn- where is popcorn!

Oh. I do not anything to say in my excuse to say. I guess there was to much happening at the same time that I did not have too much time even to reflect. You know that is the feeling in the shop when you see too many little cute things that to some extent are the same and can´t choose. So was it also with my life, it was sometimes too much to talk about and then- I did not speak here openly and honestly about anything. Not able to decide whether to say a few words about the Estonian evening, wintery Germany, cultural differences in my life or the brilliance of my children, drum lessons and capoeira, Clown lessons or Calender project, language jokes or evs experience. Now I do not have to knit with open threads anymore- I have only the end in my hands. I have soon done as much as I can and now I can see how the destiny develops itself. With these threads (read: projects and activities, responsibilities and work) seems to be only two possibilities- they can hang me, they can crone me and help you myself prove. Ho.

Sometimes you just nee to have a little push from a friend or a better overview from the situation to understand what is the most important at the moment. This distancing from yourself and activities is the best way to plan life. I have here only a half time more. So I just need to turn the sandclock upside down and reflect more.

Recommendation: Write all the wishes, dreams, plans you have on little post-its and gather them into one little box.