A mug

At first, I must express my strong dissatisfaction towards the fact that snow has disappeared. My snowy Island of Thoughts here might be the last snowy virtual bit of Tallinn right now. And that is sad.
I just realized(this might be the most frequently used words here. But as I discover new things I want to sort them out from some crap information, so this is the place or to sort this as crap out of the real hard good info, can be a two side street) , but did I realize. Oh yes, this blog robs me time.

And another thing, as I not yet in my 12th grade do not have a positive attitude towards my school, but not that I do not understand and tolerate it, especially the need for education, just the frame of it buts me a little bit off. But now weird to say I miss some parts of it, my class teacher who says odd things as a two way street it is, not the cup of tea I would drink and makes odd faces. Yesterday I really felt like I am almost getting to see and understand my class and the system better, but now I cannot phrase it yet.

To say some things about this blog. I at the moment define it as an island, I gather all my thoughts into one bottle and throw it to the sea, to get rid of those things, that might be also referred to as sending out new posts. This is an island and sometimes writing it it seems as if I am on an boat going to see some other "thought-islands". Here I tell my favourite story of a ship. A man wanted to go in search of an inhabited island and to cut a short story even shorter, he named his ship Unknown island and the story ended with a sentence, "Unknown island" went in search of itself. Then coming back to this mountain of impressions and reflections, I can use it as a rock. But if it is an mountainous island then it might be even a volcanic island and might explode some time in the future? I may stop this thought here.

In the end it is just a time-mugger, that consumes my time and I allow it to happen. At this moment I could read about NEP- politics in the Soviet Union and I will do it, but... in a few seconds. Oh, A happy tone in the end, I have to finish Hamlet, read the second part of Orlando(love it actually) and start reading Bulgakov, oh, hjappy day. I seem to understand that my new hobby is literature. Quite interesting, I feel I have not chosen it, but is came to my life thanks to a beloved teacher.

I sometimes must remind myself of a habit that is have not corrected in myself yet. And saying that sentence I reminded that, I do not need to tell you, because if it annoys you, you might understand, if not then I am just speaking in my own head. Old habits dye hard as they, English, say.

How do you feel?

I do not like narcissism, but I must admit I like the result of this blog.
The most interesting thing with blogs is connected with the fact that it is a reflection of yourself that you design yourself.
I just an hour ago read Hamlet and there he fronted his dead father. After that situation he saw what a fool he had been, what meaningless things had done and meaningless worries! He promised to change his way of living from that instant! I think during those two-three years before I abandon this nest, I will see the times when I say, how can I have lived like this? Of course life for the past months I have been active or non-active, even passive blog-writer, I have seen development and change in my, but this is more gradually and step-by-step like a perpetual mobile. I think this is a bit better way, more stable and less nerve- racking( literary speaking: to take myself apart and to build myself up again and again) But I will see how it is going to be in the future.
I just today understood that reflection , a method of developing, as it is, can be done in various stages. First in ones´s mind the observations of my actions and behaviour. Secondly the written part, as can be seen here or done in a table(knowledge, skill, attitude). Thirdly the reflection can occur in a conversation or in a judgement or comment of a teacher(the most direct one). To assess your own development or to lead your achievements to a specific goal in is necessary to take into account the changes in you thinking and the material mastered. So time to time, to be honest every second, but not to scare myself, starting bit-by-bit, ask myself how do I feel?
For example here I realized that my sentenced are too long. I know I have till now put one thought into one sentence, but I should but one thought into one paragraph.
That was a part of my self-analyses, connected with blog-writing pros. I guess I will come to the point what are the cons, because yet I do not know them.
I now feel that blog has become almost an habit, almost like an addiction. A famous and scandalous film-writer (film is Magnus, interesting film, Estonian, but interesting) said that you do not have to try to drop anything, smoking, drinking alcohol. You just have to come to the point when you do not need it (to have an alternative as Arne Laur said) and to start studying well let the habit of studying come to you, let yourself to become the addict of it. Yeah, he knew about the addictions, as some other art-related people.