I do have nothing to say, all the words are in the air. They are flying and changing. Whether to try to catch them and force them on this black and white prison or to leave them just alone? I feel at the moment like making the feelings the experience into a formed shape, is wrong. They can be in change. Making any statements is too early. And then? I will finish up by being the woman who writes 1000 pages in the end of the life, while only the in the last years the life would be perhaps in distinctive shapes? But the feeling of this moment is still important and you have just ready that. The matter of changing is sometimes so irritating:
Cuba travel- not Cuba travel
Studying sth?- not studying
Amsterdam?- not Amsterdam
Out?- In!
Monday, 6 December 2010
Dwarfs are rassists!!
This is a way to express my envy. Like my 18 children from time to time say „I want it too!“ Then I am thinking why don´t I have the German advents gift calender! They have a row of stars made of cloth on the wall and there have the dwarfs brought 24 gifts- candles, hat, self-made decorations and all you need to make your Christmastime even better. The Germans living here, get, and nothing for me? Have you seen a better example of discrimination (The Universal Declaration of Human Rights Article 2).
I have always known how the best way to change the obsoleted ways of living and thinking is in the kindergarten. But how this is put into practice, was unknown for me. Bit by bit I have become to notice that in my workplace. The way how the children are taught to say the kids that bully them or show in other ways their aggressive nature how this behavior is not appropriate here and they do not like it. This education is missing from quite many people whose kindergarten years are in the past and lead successfully a honourable company.
The equality is another theme that I have to think about in my work. The fact that every child must be equal and they all have the same rights, is connected with each assignment. The children must have all the equally big gifts, all be on the photos equal times and so on.
I have always known how the best way to change the obsoleted ways of living and thinking is in the kindergarten. But how this is put into practice, was unknown for me. Bit by bit I have become to notice that in my workplace. The way how the children are taught to say the kids that bully them or show in other ways their aggressive nature how this behavior is not appropriate here and they do not like it. This education is missing from quite many people whose kindergarten years are in the past and lead successfully a honourable company.
The equality is another theme that I have to think about in my work. The fact that every child must be equal and they all have the same rights, is connected with each assignment. The children must have all the equally big gifts, all be on the photos equal times and so on.
Giftideas??
What is EVS? The wonder of this projekt, in which i am myself makes me even more help others. It makes you the biggest gift that you could every hope. When the biggest and best excuse is removed why not to notice or help, (connection with the occupation time and Buchenwald) and you have quite much time on your hands you just see the problems you yourself and others have. So who needs a giftidea? The best for you, the world and the reciever is time. I cannot go on without remarking that my favourite seminar maker told that he does not have a clock, he has time:)
The other giftidea ist actually the work of my two months and with that also you can give the people you love, time. Time to do good and to live happily, helping yourself and the others. The Calendar is a good mood calendar, which looks just fabulous. It will be published the next week:) Then You will be here the first ones who get more information about my big secret:)
The other giftidea ist actually the work of my two months and with that also you can give the people you love, time. Time to do good and to live happily, helping yourself and the others. The Calendar is a good mood calendar, which looks just fabulous. It will be published the next week:) Then You will be here the first ones who get more information about my big secret:)
What did soncorn as mammacorn- where is popcorn!
Oh. I do not anything to say in my excuse to say. I guess there was to much happening at the same time that I did not have too much time even to reflect. You know that is the feeling in the shop when you see too many little cute things that to some extent are the same and can´t choose. So was it also with my life, it was sometimes too much to talk about and then- I did not speak here openly and honestly about anything. Not able to decide whether to say a few words about the Estonian evening, wintery Germany, cultural differences in my life or the brilliance of my children, drum lessons and capoeira, Clown lessons or Calender project, language jokes or evs experience. Now I do not have to knit with open threads anymore- I have only the end in my hands. I have soon done as much as I can and now I can see how the destiny develops itself. With these threads (read: projects and activities, responsibilities and work) seems to be only two possibilities- they can hang me, they can crone me and help you myself prove. Ho.
Sometimes you just nee to have a little push from a friend or a better overview from the situation to understand what is the most important at the moment. This distancing from yourself and activities is the best way to plan life. I have here only a half time more. So I just need to turn the sandclock upside down and reflect more.
Recommendation: Write all the wishes, dreams, plans you have on little post-its and gather them into one little box.
Sometimes you just nee to have a little push from a friend or a better overview from the situation to understand what is the most important at the moment. This distancing from yourself and activities is the best way to plan life. I have here only a half time more. So I just need to turn the sandclock upside down and reflect more.
Recommendation: Write all the wishes, dreams, plans you have on little post-its and gather them into one little box.
Monday, 6 September 2010
Leben des Stummfilms- s...Dummfilms / Elu tummfilm- tumbandusefilm
When there are so many emotions clustered in your little head, then it rather feels like already impossible nothing to say. Still, I will give it a try. To be honest, the titel says it all. It happens quite rarely that I could really sum up the whole thought in a few words, but this time it happened. I will perhaps come back to it later. A good time to ask what would you like first- the good or the bad news?
I will start of with something more positive better.
Let´s do it that way then this time. For the fist in three months I can see out!!! I can see out of the window, because till now we had these huge white building-cloth in front of the house because of the renovation. And today in the morning they actually took it away. I have not experienced that for a long time- to see out of the window. And now I can appreciate it more- that is like a silentmovie going on down there. Children playing ball with the mother and granny, youth "wasting" their time- chilling. I could describe that endlessly, that excited and happy am I about my view out of the window.
Having mentioned already the ball, then I would like to speak a little bit more about it. Behind that word in the rhames of my life is a "monster" with four legs and a big grey head. My lovely boss here decided that our life would be cosier when in our life would be a dog. Actually she always wants the best. Behind this idea is the terms "happy family model with dog" and "animals have a therapical effect on people", on the other hand I could never know what a person thinks (Gott sei dank!), it could be here for million of reason. So the thing is that we welcomed here, in our quite small living a very sweet and nice French girl, but she has a big dog. We actually have not agreed with that, so we hope to get rid of the problem soon.
Actually the dog is quite sweet also and behaves good, but he is only too big for the living.
When I start talking about the biggest intercultural suprises, then I get goosehumps. This spine-chilling experience happened in my languagecourse and I got rid of some frustration talking with Giulia how unbelievably suprising can people be. So in the scene you can imagine A russian pensionere, a young russian man, 2 women from Ukraine and Chinese girl, the teacher who looks like an elf. Unfortunately was I also there, I quess it was time when I was astonished by the different nationalities more than I will be during the whole year! So this story starts as an anectode, let´s see on.
The topic like "The black people", "The poor people in the third world", "The moslems" ended all with the point that they are stupid, helplessly unintelligent. They do not have the right to name themselves as the russians or the germans... That was actually the idea of the russians, the others said politely that he has right for his opinion and let him talk and talk on. At least they wer themselves fascinated by their own thoughts. The Chinese girl, who did not understand so much, smiled always and the teacher said, who interesting that you so thing, but... . The next topic of these endless politically uncorrect opinions was about the history, what we should not talk about and forget the past, going on how good it is in Russia and how important the religion is. I do not even want to right here all the topics, because they were just non-sense. The intolerance and evilness of some people just suprises me. But afterall the EVS was called into being to raise tolerance and intercultural awareness, so these radical attitudes should gradually soften.
To recover from this intercultural shock, I will better go and recieve my Dog-therapy.
But before, I could mention that tonight went my bed almost in two parts(what did I do at the night??) and in our bathroom and toilet there has been a total darkness or two days already :)
I will start of with something more positive better.
Let´s do it that way then this time. For the fist in three months I can see out!!! I can see out of the window, because till now we had these huge white building-cloth in front of the house because of the renovation. And today in the morning they actually took it away. I have not experienced that for a long time- to see out of the window. And now I can appreciate it more- that is like a silentmovie going on down there. Children playing ball with the mother and granny, youth "wasting" their time- chilling. I could describe that endlessly, that excited and happy am I about my view out of the window.
Having mentioned already the ball, then I would like to speak a little bit more about it. Behind that word in the rhames of my life is a "monster" with four legs and a big grey head. My lovely boss here decided that our life would be cosier when in our life would be a dog. Actually she always wants the best. Behind this idea is the terms "happy family model with dog" and "animals have a therapical effect on people", on the other hand I could never know what a person thinks (Gott sei dank!), it could be here for million of reason. So the thing is that we welcomed here, in our quite small living a very sweet and nice French girl, but she has a big dog. We actually have not agreed with that, so we hope to get rid of the problem soon.
Actually the dog is quite sweet also and behaves good, but he is only too big for the living.
When I start talking about the biggest intercultural suprises, then I get goosehumps. This spine-chilling experience happened in my languagecourse and I got rid of some frustration talking with Giulia how unbelievably suprising can people be. So in the scene you can imagine A russian pensionere, a young russian man, 2 women from Ukraine and Chinese girl, the teacher who looks like an elf. Unfortunately was I also there, I quess it was time when I was astonished by the different nationalities more than I will be during the whole year! So this story starts as an anectode, let´s see on.
The topic like "The black people", "The poor people in the third world", "The moslems" ended all with the point that they are stupid, helplessly unintelligent. They do not have the right to name themselves as the russians or the germans... That was actually the idea of the russians, the others said politely that he has right for his opinion and let him talk and talk on. At least they wer themselves fascinated by their own thoughts. The Chinese girl, who did not understand so much, smiled always and the teacher said, who interesting that you so thing, but... . The next topic of these endless politically uncorrect opinions was about the history, what we should not talk about and forget the past, going on how good it is in Russia and how important the religion is. I do not even want to right here all the topics, because they were just non-sense. The intolerance and evilness of some people just suprises me. But afterall the EVS was called into being to raise tolerance and intercultural awareness, so these radical attitudes should gradually soften.
To recover from this intercultural shock, I will better go and recieve my Dog-therapy.
But before, I could mention that tonight went my bed almost in two parts(what did I do at the night??) and in our bathroom and toilet there has been a total darkness or two days already :)
Thursday, 19 August 2010
Thread
I guess it is not too unusual being in a place to think every other week that this is my favorite town until I see another one. This is a story dedicated to the cities.
In Jena there is a lot of people, form different parts of Germany, from different countries and the atmosphere here is fantastic. The situation that you meet the people you know everywhere, because it is in the size of Tartu, is so cute. Jena is surrounded by mountains that are all in the hight of Suur Munamägi and they are covered with good hiking tracks. Because of them is in Jena always warmer then in everywhere else. There are not too many people and always when I meet somebody up threre we greet eachother. Once when a bikers group went pass then I had to say 20 times “Gutten Tag!”. What makes Jena more interesting is that it is so manysided. Besides the river-side cute houses, the oldtown, villas, we have also here the “Little Russland”. That looks like Lasnamäe, but here accure different nationalities. For example one man from Africa that is an excellent Drum-player is my most often “Hello-friend”. I see him quite often and always we say hello as we knew each-other for long. The atmosphere in Jena is wonderful- free, friendly, people are cute and curious. So in the tram the last week I mate a girl from Turkey. She is studying here Politics.
Jena is opening up to me bit-by-bit. As I have a year I must say that I do not city yet at all. But I have had to made little tours for my dear Estonians here and I am a guide for the girl that works here from march, but does not know many people here. And I personally have not had right tour myself. But in Jena, where are very many hidden places that are around the corner, you can discover so much, when you just open your eyes. So I quess there is enough to discover here till the next summer.
Rudolfstadt is the cutest little town I have seen. For me Rudolfstadt could be the synonym for cute. There happened a funny insident I have been told many times and where I am actually the main character. As always the situation where I do not understand the whole conversation exactly is not new for me, so when I set a meeting time with the boy from the town I must have heard wrongly. He was there earlier than I and was looking for me. As he is a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a volunteer I knew is Estonia that came from Germany, he did not know how to find me. He was asking from the people standing in the trainstation whether they are Leene. And actually he asked from my friends who coincidentally also there were. And they told me about it later, many times as a matter of fact. That day I had to meet also the friend of a friend of a friend of a volunteer I knew is Estonia who told me about this boy in Rudolfstadt. As I had been writing with her for a couple of months we were eager to meet each other. But we did not meet afterall on that day. What the funniest was- when my train left the trainstation to go to Jena, Sara´s train arrived...
But today was the day I met Sara, last time mentioning that she was the friend of a friend of a friend of a volunteer I knew is Estonia. In Germany it is very popular to do Voluntary year. It is like my project, but in Germany then. The third favourite city- Weimar. The choise became only because of the little shops. Oh these second-hand shops, cute-thing-shops and postcardshops- that is something unbelievable.
In Jena there is a lot of people, form different parts of Germany, from different countries and the atmosphere here is fantastic. The situation that you meet the people you know everywhere, because it is in the size of Tartu, is so cute. Jena is surrounded by mountains that are all in the hight of Suur Munamägi and they are covered with good hiking tracks. Because of them is in Jena always warmer then in everywhere else. There are not too many people and always when I meet somebody up threre we greet eachother. Once when a bikers group went pass then I had to say 20 times “Gutten Tag!”. What makes Jena more interesting is that it is so manysided. Besides the river-side cute houses, the oldtown, villas, we have also here the “Little Russland”. That looks like Lasnamäe, but here accure different nationalities. For example one man from Africa that is an excellent Drum-player is my most often “Hello-friend”. I see him quite often and always we say hello as we knew each-other for long. The atmosphere in Jena is wonderful- free, friendly, people are cute and curious. So in the tram the last week I mate a girl from Turkey. She is studying here Politics.
Jena is opening up to me bit-by-bit. As I have a year I must say that I do not city yet at all. But I have had to made little tours for my dear Estonians here and I am a guide for the girl that works here from march, but does not know many people here. And I personally have not had right tour myself. But in Jena, where are very many hidden places that are around the corner, you can discover so much, when you just open your eyes. So I quess there is enough to discover here till the next summer.
Rudolfstadt is the cutest little town I have seen. For me Rudolfstadt could be the synonym for cute. There happened a funny insident I have been told many times and where I am actually the main character. As always the situation where I do not understand the whole conversation exactly is not new for me, so when I set a meeting time with the boy from the town I must have heard wrongly. He was there earlier than I and was looking for me. As he is a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a volunteer I knew is Estonia that came from Germany, he did not know how to find me. He was asking from the people standing in the trainstation whether they are Leene. And actually he asked from my friends who coincidentally also there were. And they told me about it later, many times as a matter of fact. That day I had to meet also the friend of a friend of a friend of a volunteer I knew is Estonia who told me about this boy in Rudolfstadt. As I had been writing with her for a couple of months we were eager to meet each other. But we did not meet afterall on that day. What the funniest was- when my train left the trainstation to go to Jena, Sara´s train arrived...
But today was the day I met Sara, last time mentioning that she was the friend of a friend of a friend of a volunteer I knew is Estonia. In Germany it is very popular to do Voluntary year. It is like my project, but in Germany then. The third favourite city- Weimar. The choise became only because of the little shops. Oh these second-hand shops, cute-thing-shops and postcardshops- that is something unbelievable.
Wednesday, 18 August 2010
The keyhole
The most popular questions what I have to answer every day- where are you from and why did you choose germany. With the first one there cannot be many difficulties. Sometimes it might be a little bit tiring, as my friend in the second half of Evs chose another country and name to introduce herself, but it is a good place to start a conversation. The other question more complex. I could talk about it for hours. So i could start with the fact that Germans are so cute and lovely people and tell them stories of my friends, tell about the way to get to know myself better in an environment, where my siblings as well live. And yet they wait to hear a short answer. The best answer I have heard to this question was given by the spanish volunteer Rafael here who said he would like to learn how to be practical, organised and make plans like the germans. I do not have such a good answer yet figured out- i have to work on it more. One of the trains of thought is visible here.
The Evs is for me something very clear as in Estonia my relations with the volunteers were quite close. Or should I say has been? With every experience there is a big difference between practical and theoretical. Until I came here EVS remained only a word for me, one of these tousands of terms I am familiar to. I must say that I think I have not understood it yet that I am not here for the summer only, there will come the autumn and winter, finally spring.
As I am here experiencing this year, the project, then the words that were to define Evs are probably changing. At the moment I would say that EVs is "looking through the keyhole from the other side".These rather distant words must become more clear, but that in the future, but now on this milestone i have recorded them. To explain a bit more why the activity with the keyhole, I will spend a couple of lines. It cannot be the key, it might have referred to it like that, but no trip cannot bring automatically the solutions. The project is rather connected with viewing and concentrated looks(besides asking questions) what is the premise for learning, understanding and adjusting.
I cannot say that every person needs to go through this amasing experience like Evs (although every second should do that ;), this is said little overexaggeratedly to stress how much I value it). Evs quite often means just being ready to adjust to a new environment and being ready to go through with your dreams, the changes that are vital. This is the thing I have believed for two years and I am witnessing it at the moment. I cannot deny that it is possible to achieve such attitude and energy, environment and changes in every place.
As I have thought quite a lot about the meaning of Evs, for me til now the most important factor is time. Time makes evs so magical time. The fact that the volunteers are not rushing through life, gives them moments with themselves, opportunity to analyse the development process and help others, to be creative . These different aspects can be summed up with the skill that is needed- noticing. And again, to see and understand your own character, others around you, cultural differences you need to take time.
The Evs is for me something very clear as in Estonia my relations with the volunteers were quite close. Or should I say has been? With every experience there is a big difference between practical and theoretical. Until I came here EVS remained only a word for me, one of these tousands of terms I am familiar to. I must say that I think I have not understood it yet that I am not here for the summer only, there will come the autumn and winter, finally spring.
As I am here experiencing this year, the project, then the words that were to define Evs are probably changing. At the moment I would say that EVs is "looking through the keyhole from the other side".These rather distant words must become more clear, but that in the future, but now on this milestone i have recorded them. To explain a bit more why the activity with the keyhole, I will spend a couple of lines. It cannot be the key, it might have referred to it like that, but no trip cannot bring automatically the solutions. The project is rather connected with viewing and concentrated looks(besides asking questions) what is the premise for learning, understanding and adjusting.
I cannot say that every person needs to go through this amasing experience like Evs (although every second should do that ;), this is said little overexaggeratedly to stress how much I value it). Evs quite often means just being ready to adjust to a new environment and being ready to go through with your dreams, the changes that are vital. This is the thing I have believed for two years and I am witnessing it at the moment. I cannot deny that it is possible to achieve such attitude and energy, environment and changes in every place.
As I have thought quite a lot about the meaning of Evs, for me til now the most important factor is time. Time makes evs so magical time. The fact that the volunteers are not rushing through life, gives them moments with themselves, opportunity to analyse the development process and help others, to be creative . These different aspects can be summed up with the skill that is needed- noticing. And again, to see and understand your own character, others around you, cultural differences you need to take time.
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